


Safe Space

by heyaeolus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29154852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyaeolus/pseuds/heyaeolus
Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi hates crowds. He hates how he had to fight for his own personal space amidst the horde of people. His constant struggle soon led to finding a safe space for himself.
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Kudos: 63





	Safe Space

There were a lot of people around. Yelling, cheering, even cursing at each other. You found yourself sighing, seated at one of the stalls for the race car game. The makeshift plush driver's seat somehow eased some of the tension in your body. At least that boy who your friends pushed you to had left for a while to fetch some drinks. 

You curiously looked around. Maybe you could find some of your classmates in here. Better off if they are your friends. You found one. Sticking out in the middle of the crowd like a sore stick. You did not expect to see him in here. Why would he even go here?

You stood from your comfortable seat, making your way towards the famous ace. His brows are furrowed, like the usual. His arms are crossed, dodging any person intentionally or unintentionally brushing onto him.

"Hey," you waved at him. A bright smile adorned your face. Sakusa barely nodded onto your direction, being cautious as you neared him. Fully aware of the ace's quirk, you stopped a good half meter before him. Leaving him sufficient space for himself to be polite. 

"What are you doing here?" Beating around the bush wouldn't really do you any good if you are talking with Sakusa. And you know he could be more straightforward than that. He was the same guy who pointedly asked you if you were flirting with every guy after all. Just because you are being a little too enthusiastic on the first day of your last year in high school. He is obviously not enjoying the fact that he is stuck in here, "Some volleyball colleagues pulled me in here after eating with them."

You cooed, understanding that staying is the bare minimum of Sakusa's politeness to the colleagues he was talking about.

"And you?"

"I'm here with a guy," you answered, looking around trying to catch the same face you have been strolling around with. Sakusa clucked his tongue beneath his mask, "A date again?"

His tone was enough to tell you of what his opinion over this is. It's not like he kept his distaste towards your group's behavior to himself either. Mira, one of your friends, confessed once to him. He rejected her outright. Saying she is not good enough for his standards. That right there led you to being distant to Sakusa, only this year when you parted with your usual group did you dare to talk with him. 

"Mira found me while the guy was confessing to me. Pushed me somehow to doing this," you held onto the straps of your bag, looking down at the tiled floor. Also silently bracing yourself for some harsh critics but instead, Sakusa stayed silent before you. It was rare of him to hold back. Maybe the crowd around is too much for him, keeping him in a state of constant discomfort. 

You looked back at the upper half of his face. He looks like he is about to throw up. "You want to go?" you asked. You saw the momentary gleam in his eyes upon hearing your words but he immediately looked around, probably to search for his companions. "I don't..." hesitation painted his face. You could tell he is caught in between his own good or staying loyal to his friends. 

"Shit," you ducked, hiding to Sakusa's side. He looked at you, puzzled. "What?" he muttered as he followed you with his eyes. 

"My date's already back," you hissed. "Well, I guess I'm running away alone. Bye, Sakusa!"

"Wait!" he caught your wrist, his phone in another. You saw him hit send to a group chat before his attention was back at you, "Come on."

Basically, after that, Sakusa eased at your presence. You guessed maybe it was his way of thanking you when you saved him from his apparent distress at the arcade. You were thankful for the familiarity he brings. There were just a few people you know in the class you were tossed into, mercilessly torn apart from your usual classmates. So his friendliness means less hours of being alone.

Hearing someone call your name, your head perked up. Sakusa stood before your desk, hands in his pants' pockets. You raised your brows, acknowledging his presence. "Can I borrow your notes?" he asked. You reminisced about the days he was away last week. He has a lot of catching up to do.

"How long do you need them?" you were already reaching for your bag, checking what notebooks you could let him borrow today. 

"I'll have them back tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll lend you half my notebooks today then the other half tomorrow. Is that fine with you?"

He meekly nodded, taking your notebooks from your hands. The gentle contact of your hand to his sent a slight flutter to your chest, catching you off guard. You retracted your hand, smiling at him as he walked back to his desk. 

You don't tell anyone but you were definitely shocked when Sakusa, THE Sakusa, asked for your help with Math. Telling you with a monotone voice, "I've already told my mom I have someone coming over today." And yes, you are currently seated with Sakusa Kiyoomi in their living room. Their house is mostly deserted with his mom leaving the two of you to yourselves. She says she has something to pick up at the grocery.

Your notes and his are in an organized mess on the table. The snacks his mom offered you is safely tucked in the corner away from the papers and pens. Your brain is still deciding what's weirder, the fact that you are in Sakusa's house or that you are talking to him without his mask on. But eventually, you snapped out of your trance, willing to stick to why you were here. 

"Where are you having trouble with?" you asked, peering over Sakusa's notes. "In here," he pointed to a certain part of the most recent lesson to you with his pen. You looked at him in confusion, "Weren't you there when our teacher discussed this?"

"I'm home — Oh."

Your head turned at the voice from behind you, finding another woman by the door. She is obviously a relative, you could see her resemblance with Sakusa. "I see you've got a guest, Kiyoomi," the woman noted. "She's my classmate," Sakusa told her, "Y/N, this is my older sister."

"Hi," she smiled at you, excusing herself as she passed the both of you. Sakusa glanced at you, "We should continue." You should have but her sister peeked from the kitchen, "Where do you live, Y/N?"

"Just nearby," you coyly replied. 

"He's walking you home?" Sakusa's older sister asked, pertaining to her brother. 

You bit your lip, honestly, you'd rather not. Being with Sakusa in his house is awkward enough, prolonging it would only be torturing yourself further. "Sakusa did not — "

"Y/N, call him Kiyoomi. It's quite confusing," you looked at Kiyoomi, troubled. You don't know whether the idea of calling him Kiyoomi would be welcome to him. To your surprise, he nodded at the suggestion. His older sister grinning at you then glaring at Kiyoomi, "You better walk her home."

"I know," Sakusa sneered at his older sister, shooing her with the gesture of his hand. You caught the playful smile on her older sister's face, winking at you, before disappearing into the kitchen. The rest of the afternoon, you stuck onto your objective which is teaching Sakusa the rest of the lesson he did not fully understand. Turns out, he knows a lot already but is baffled with some twists and turns. It was a nice time. You definitely did not mind when he moved to sit beside you, telling you, "This way you don't have to strain your neck so much." You hope he did not see the blush on your cheeks when you looked back down your notes.

And you hope he did not notice how, in a slip of sanity, you almost grabbed his hand when it bumped onto yours when he walked you home. How you almost combusted infront of him when your mom told him how handsome he is and she will gladly take him as your boyfriend. And how you hid the loud drumming of your heart through a grumble as you sent Kiyoomi off, running to your room to avoid questions.

A week later you found yourself lurking outside the gym in search of Kiyoomi. You held onto his water bottle in your hand. He forgot it on his desk and you are on your way to return it to him. But your heart just won't calm down. Nerves wracking your brain, thinking of the possibilities of how Kiyoomi would react to you getting in the gym without his knowing.

You frowned at the absurdity of the thought, "Why would he even mind? This is school property." With that, you braced yourself and entered the door into the gym. It seems that they have only started. The volleyball team's coach stood before the players, talking about drills. Kiyoomi was easy to find, his head sticking out from the rest. You were shocked to see that he wasn't wearing a mask in here. Maybe sweat makes it feel icky. But still, the sight of him in a crowd, not looking lanky and awkward is a new and refreshing sight for you. It made him... more attractive. At least to your eyes, that is.

You stood at the sideways, waiting until the coach ended, not wanting to gain attention. But fear evaded your system as you felt the intimidating aura the team gave off while you stood there. Eventually, you come down to the decision to give the bottle to one of the staff who would be willing to hand it off to Sakusa. You glanced around, looking for someone who looks trustworthy enough for Kiyoomi’s liking.

"Is there anything I could help you with?" a girl, who you recognized as the volleyball team's manager, approached you with a sweet smile. You bowed, "I was thinking if you could give this to — "

"Y/N?" Kiyoomi has his attention on you, jogging towards your direction. You flinched, not ready for Sakusa’s presence. The manager tapped your shoulder, "Looks like you could give it to him directly." You uttered a small thank you to her before she went away. Kiyoomi's gaze was questioning as he stopped before you. "You forgot your water bottle," you showed his water bottle to him which he took from you with a smile.

And boy, it did damage to your heart as it throbbed wildly in your chest. You took a deep breath, exhaling as silent as you could get. "Thank you," Kiyoomi rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Who are you walking home with?" You looked up at him, regretting it immediately. The sight of his eyes did no help to your flushed state. "A-ah," you fumbled with words, lost, "I walk... I walk alone."

Kiyoomi's head tilted sidewards, "I thought you walk with your friends?"

Ooh. Kiyoomi unconsciously stabbed you with his words. You haven't been talking much to your friends these past few weeks due to the fact that they were seemingly distancing themselves to you. You don't know why nor you could think of a reason why. But you also don't have the courage to ask them so you just let it roll.

"They're actually... avoiding me," you plainly stated as if it wasn't a big deal. But it didn't work with Sakusa and you know him, he'd rather be upfront than careful around literally anyone. He asked, "Why?" You sighed. You should have seen that coming. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Oh, okay," his tone was indifferent, "If you could wait for me, we could walk home together."

"Hmm?" Did you hear that one right?

"I'd walk you home if you could wait for me."

"Okay..." you mindlessly answered, not expecting the invitation from the stoic man. Kiyoomi cocked a brow at you, "Is that a yes?" You nodded hastily at his question. And you were sure life was knocked out of your body when he grinned at you before jogging back to the court. 

A month had passed since you've grown rather fond of the volleyball player's presence. During that month, you found yourself lounging in the gym during random days when you felt like it. You now enjoy lunch with the volleyball managers, but more often it's just you and Kiyoomi. You learned a lot about his behavior during those times. 

So you were stunned to find him standing outside a booth in the hallway of a karaoke place. Another rather secluded place. "Oh, Kiyoomi?" you said out loud as you caught his attention, oblivious of your friends catching up behind. You clasped your mouth in your hands realizing the situation. Just then you heard a small gasp from behind. When you looked back at your friends, they were glaring at you.

Kiyoomi only nodded at your direction, barely acknowledging the rest of your group. He moved his body against the wall when the rest of your group passed by him, but careful not to actually touch its surface. You figured this is where his teammates decided to go to hang out, to Kiyoomi's distress. Why did he even bother to go with them anyway if he will only stand there like a pole? It seems like he has a hobby of torturing himself by going to places which causes discomfort to him.

"Y/N," the cold tone of your friend's voice had you halting in the gray pavement outside the karaoke place. You huffed, turning, "Hmm?"

"Kiyoomi? How close were you with Sakusa?" Mira stepped closer to you, her eyes boring holes onto your skull. You felt the intensity, sending chills onto your body.

"Ah, we've been close since we're class — "

"Are you dating him?" Mira asked in disbelief. You gasped, "What? No! I know you like him, of course not!"

"Would that change a thing for you anyway?"

You bit your lower lip in frustration. Sakusa could have appeared in a more appropriate time but fate chose this one. You were only beginning to redeem your friends' trust in you and yet, here he goes. Who knows what his sharp tongue could say to your friends? Mira and the rest of your group visibly tensed at the sight of the tall ace. Sakusa fell into place beside you, glowering at your friends. "Kiyoomi — "

"No, Y/N. I'd want to ask her, do you think you could still coax me with bland cupcakes and disgusting chocolates?" There goes Kiyoomi's words making Mira flinch in her place. One blow from him and her eyes are already tearing up, trembling under his gaze. She didn't even have any power to speak to Kiyoomi. In a flurry of unexplained irritation, Kiyoomi continued, "I'll tell you what. Your attitude would continue to stink even if you wear the most expensive perfume. I would never like you. And not your friends."

Oh. Well, that hurt.

Your now former friends, turned and ran on their way home. It felt like something is squeezing your heart as you internalized Kiyoomi's words. You didn’t even know what hurts more, losing your friends or have your hopes crushed. He wouldn't like you either. That was the moment you realized you have been falling into a trap you made yourself. Not only did you lose your friends at the expense of getting close with your new classmates but you also lost your chance on Kiyoomi. You should have known better than to assume things in the first place.

"You okay?" Kiyoomi's low voice reached your ear, his hand on your shoulder. You closed your eyes, sighing, before forcing a smile on your face.

"Okay! Let's go find some new friends, Sakusa!"

You didn't notice how Kiyoomi scrunched his face at the sound of his last name from your lips. Why did you use his last name in favor of his given name? Yet again? Is he back to zero? After all the efforts of getting close to you, is he being forced back down again? The reality was made clear to him as you walked farther from him on your way home.

Was it because he cut your ties with your toxic friend? Isn't that something you should be thankful for instead? Why were they important to you, anyways? But one thing is clear, he won't back down this time. He won't let himself sink back down again given the efforts he did this time to get closer to you.

The first time he tried, he was blocked by your friend’s emotions. Beating him to actually talking to you. He was thinking of how they will coerce against you if they find out you are the one he likes – the exact situation you are thrown in now. It took a lot of effort for Sakusa to shut himself up from telling you the obvious hatred of your friends pointed towards you when you got into the same class as his. Not that he was watching you closely… okay, yes, maybe he was investing a little more attention to you than he was supposed to. But he knows why, he just doesn’t know how to tell you. Over the short time he had spent close to you, you had slowly become something important to him. A comfort, a safe space wherever he goes. And now that you are yet again slipping out of his grasp. He is getting anxious at each passing second, the feeling of losing you not quite fitting to him. He can’t deny the fact that he had grown accustomed to your presence now.

You were almost lifeless as you entered the classroom that Monday after the incident. Even though you were quite guilty of your friends being a bad influence to you, they were still fundamental people in your life. And you don't want parting ways with them on a bad note. Your hair was still damp and somehow unruly as you took your seat. Barely minding your surroundings, you haven't noticed several eyes turning to you because of your semi-sheer uniform. The water from your hair seeped into the cloth, making your undergarment out for everyone's attention.

You snapped out of your reverie when you heard someone hiss behind you. The sight of a familiar varsity jacket spread out welcomed your sight. Above it, Sakusa's face — red — was looking sideways. Is this his apology? "What do you want?" you snapped at him.

"Wear it."

Here he goes again with his commands. "Can you not order me around?" you hissed as you turned your back at him. The warmth of his jacket though, engulfed you as he draped it on your shoulders. "You don't want everyone ogling at your chest," rather than sounding like an insult, Sakusa's voice broke from the nerves he felt. He saw it too and he was anxious of how you'd react to that. 

In embarrassment, you knocked your head onto your desk. You messed that up big time.

You spent the whole day by yourself. Sakusa didn't bother to get to you, letting you be on your own. The sight of you wearing his jacket is enough assurance for him. But it doesn't mean he is backing down. When the bell for the end of the classes sounded, he approached you, taking your bag from you. "What?" you were bewildered by his action. "I need help with Japanese today. Let's go to my place," he told you monotonously. 

With your current mood, the invitation seemed so selfish. Making you draw out a deep scowl on your face. "No," you tried pulling your bag from his grip but he is simply stronger. "We're going," Kiyoomi honestly thinks he could force everything he wanted to happen. Alas, his actions. But his resolve crumbled when tears streamed down from your eyes, stress and pain pushing them out of your system. You were trembling before him.

"Why don't you leave me alone, Sakusa?! You never think of anyone but yourself! You only think of what's good for you!"

He was taken aback from your choice of words. Your classmates had stopped in their tracks to watch the scene before them unravel. Sakusa Kiyoomi made another girl cry. That sure will make its round of gossips in the school. He is pretty known for doing it frequently, anyways. He makes girls cry because he can’t give the attention they crave from him. But this time, he made the girl he wants to give his whole attention to because she doesn’t want it.

You finally pulled your bag from his weakening grip. He was still taken aback from your words, taking it to heart. You ran, sobbing. The sight was awful for Kiyoomi. He wanted to chase after you but he doesn't know if it would ease you of the emotions ruling your consciousness right now. But it definitely doesn't feel right to make you cry.

You did not attend school the next day, faking sickness in exchange of not seeing Sakusa. Your mom definitely knows you are faking it but she also knows you wouldn't go to such measures just to skip school. She decided it would be best to leave you by your own. Alone in your house, you spent your time watching movies in the living room, snacking on chips even though it was already time for lunch.

When the doorbell rang, you paid it no mind, thinking it might be some clerk for advertising random stuff. But when the ringing continued, you stood up to attend to it in irritation. The sight of Sakusa outside your door, breathless, made your brain go haywire once again. Why is he in here? Before you could even close the door, he had pushed past you.

He took off his mask, "Do you still have a fever? Did you eat already? Is your mom home?" The barrage of questions made you guiltily stare back at him. His brows furrowed, the situation sinking in. "Oh," he uttered, “You’re not sick.”

Only then did the awkwardness settled in between the two of you. Kiyoomi came in your house with the sole objective of taking care of you because you are sick. He did not expect to see you well and able to communicate. What is he supposed to do now?

You were clueless either, "Umm... Come in. I'll grab you a drink." He followed behind you, settling on the couch where you pointed at. The tension in the air could be felt by the both of you as you settled the pitcher and the glass on the coffee table. Kiyoomi couldn't think straight. Should he go now? But how about the things he wanted to say?

He called out your name softly, to which you turned, looking him in the eyes. His eyes were apologetic and if you were being honest to yourself, you don't need any apologies from him anymore. "Need anything?" you asked out of concern, knowing he has his tendencies. He nodded, catching your wrist in his hand and pulling you onto his lap.

You gasped. You skipped school to avoid him and yet somehow, you end up in his lap. He wrapped his arms around your waist, his face nuzzling your hair. You stiffened in your place, "K-kiyoomi..."

"I like you."

You don't know how to respond to his words. It caught you off guard. The timing couldn’t be more off putting. Geez, if he told you this a week before, you would have been over the moon. He sounded so sincere, like he poured his whole heart into those three words.

His emotions flooded you in a storm. His hug tightened, you could feel every rise and fall of his chest against you. His every breath deep, anxious.

"Kiyoomi — "

"You don't have to answer, Y/N. I just want you to know..." he sounded hurt. But before all of that, you know you have other things to discuss. It can't start with the two of you in a hazy fog of feelings.

“I just need you to promise some things for me.” With the sound of the optimistic statement, you felt Sakusa lean in closer to you. He hummed a response so you started. "You need to know how you hurt me by deciding to cut my friends off from me. You don't have a choice on what I do with my life, Kiyoomi. It's not something you could just do. You have to promise me to let me handle things by my own."

Sakusa felt like a strong gush of wind knocked him off with the intensity of your complaint – rather than the request he was waiting from you. But he know he need to understand this now or he will lose you. His eyes were sorrowful when he uttered an almost inaudible apology. "I promise... I won't do it again."

"You also need to be careful with what you say to people."

"I know. I will."

"Sure?"

He nodded, his eyes finally emerging from your hair as you turned to look at him. He looked so vulnerable, opposing to his usual intimidating demeanor. He doesn't want to sound pathetic but he can't help but ask, “Do you... do you like me back?”

You scoffed. The tension between the two of you is quickly passing. Your smile had eased him up of the burden he had been feeling from making you cry yesterday. Instead of answering him, you snaked your arms around his waist, pushing your face flush against his chest. You sniffed his scent, smelling fresh despite sweating during his run. You felt him flinch at first, not used to such gestures. But he relaxed under your touch later on, leaning into it. His arms completely engulfed your form in a circle of comfort.

“Of course,” you finally answered.

“Ah, that’s years of hidden feelings for me.”

“What?”


End file.
